Humor

Illustration by Dave San Pedro

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz Chief Justice Renato “Nato” Corona got a call from ex-prez Gloria Macapagal Arroyo after his tear-jerking testimony at the Senate impeachment court.  The conversation went this way: Gloria: Hello, Nato. Nato: Who’s this? Gloria: This is Gloria.  Remember me? Nato: Is that you, Ate Glo?  I didn’t recognize your voice. Gloria: Well, ever since they put this gadget around my Read More …

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Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz After several months of trying to interview Manny “Pacman” Pacquaio, my perseverance finally paid off – he returned my call! Our conversation went as follows: Pacman: Hello, Perry. This is Manny. Perry: Oh, hello, Manny, what a pleasant surprise!  How are you? Pacman: I had better days.  I feel like I’m being crucified! Perry:  Well, it’s Holy Week… it’s time Read More …

A Cup O’ Kapeng Barako By Jesse Jose He speaks from the gut, they said.  He’s got a lot of gut alright.  Lotsa gut.  Big protruding gut.  Big belly.  Fat belly.  Rolly polly.  Would you want a president that’s a rolly polly?  Not only is his belly that’s fat about him.  He’s also got a fat ego.  Y’all know who I am talking about, right?  Yeah, Newt, the Grinch, Read More …

Book Description Publication Date: January 10, 2012 Perry Diaz is the publisher of Global Balita, a daily online newsmagazine, and the author of this famous Balitang Kutsero, a collection of political anecdotes about the Philippines and Filipinos in general. He started Balita in 1987 as a community newsletter. Over the years, his commentaries and viewpoints have become increasingly popular with Pinoys in the United States, Read More …

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz In an interview with ANC News, President Benigno “P-Noy” Aquino III said that he might pardon ex-prez Gloria Macapagal Arroyo if she showed remorse for the anomalies and scandals that had hounded her nine years in power.  Yep, P-Noy told Gloria, “No remorse, no pardon!” After seeing P-Noy’s interview on her TV in her detention suite at the Veteran Memorial Read More …

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz There is a lot of speculation that President Benigno “P-Noy” Aquino III might be visiting former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo who is under hospital arrest at St. Luke’s Medical Center.  My investigative reporter James Macaquecquec called me to say that he thought he recognized someone who looks like P-Noy enter the hospital.  He was wearing a police Major’s uniform and Read More …

  CLICK TO WATCH VIDEO >> GMA, Pacman Trigger Constitutional Crisis!

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz It’s confirmed!  Twelve bone specialists from 12 countries were flown to Manila to take a look at former President Gloria Arroyo’s “rare disease.”  After 12 hours of examination, the doctors were unanimous in their diagnosis.  Gloria is indeed suffering from a very rare disease, which they all agreed is also incurable.  They explained that it is caused by a psychological Read More …

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz Most of us adults probably don’t believe in Santa Claus.  But President Benigno “P-Noy” Aquino III believes in Santa Claus.  P-Noy said that when he was interviewed on YouTube.  “I believe in Santa Claus. Santa Claus is perhaps the personification of people’s idea of generosity and caring,” he said in response to a question of a seven-year-old boy, identified only Read More …

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz Finally, after numerous attempts, world boxing champion Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao returned my phone call for an interview.  Our conversation went as follows: Perry:  Thank you, Congressman Pacquiao, for returning my call. Pacman: Don’t thank me; thank God I did it. Perry: Congressman… or should I say, Lt. Col., sir… you haven’t lost your sense of humor. Pacman: Well, my friend, Read More …