Balitang Kutsero

Kim Kardashian

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao was celebrating his victory over Timothy Bradley when his cell phone rang. He asked his manager, Freddie Roach, to answer the call. Freddie: Hello. Caller: Hello, this is Kim. May I please speak to Mr. Pacquiao? Freddie: I’ll see if he’s available. Hey, Manny! Somebody named Kin wants to talk to you. Pacman: Kim? Is it Kim Read More …

Janet-Lim-Napoles-and-Noynoy.3

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz It was reported in the news that Janet Lim Napoles surrendered to Noynoy personally in Malacañang at 9:37 PM on August 28, 2013. That was what Noynoy’s spin meisters told the media. But Kit Tatad claims the story was pure baloney. He said that Janet secretly met with Noynoy in Malacañang at 10:00 AM on August 28, 2013. My investigative Read More …

Xi-Jinping-Winnie-the-Pooh.14

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz James Macaquecquec called and said that he has the best scoop on Presidents Barack Obama and Xi Jinping’s stroll on the manicured garden of the Sunnylands estate with just their interpreters with them. I asked him how could he get the scoop when it was just the two interpreters who heard their conversation. “Well, boss, I was one of the Read More …

Habemus Papam Filipini

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz After three days in conclave, the cardinals were almost certain that the next round of voting would produce a pope to replace Pope Benedict XVI who abruptly resigned.  After all, Cardinal Vittorio Giovanni Antonini, the leading papal candidate was just three votes short of the two-third-majority requirement (one of the last Pope’s legacy was to restore the 2/3 requirement to Read More …

Leila-DeLima-Fire.2

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz Sen. Ping Lacson decided to bury the hatchet so he called Justice Secretary Leila de Lima.  Their conversation went as follows: Leila: Hello, who is this? Ping: Hi, Leila.  This is Ping.  Remember me? Leila:  Ping?  Oh, like in ping-pong?  Yep, how can I forget you?  What can I do for you? Are you in trouble again? Ping: Oh, no… Read More …

gloria-out-on-bail.2

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz After ex-prez Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was granted bail in her election sabotage case, she called President Benigno “P-Noy” Aquino III.  Their conversation went as follows: P-Noy: Hello, this is President P-Noy speaking.  Who is this? Gloria: Hoy, P-Noy!  This is Gloria. P-Noy: Gloria… who? Gloria: Aba! Eh, sino pa?  This is former President and Congresswoman Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. P-Noy: Huh? Read More …

Manny-Pacquiao.4

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz When I found out that Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao decided to cut short his stay in Los Angeles after his stunning loss to Tim Bradley, I flew to L.A. to try catching Pacman before he left for the Philippines.  I was able to get Pacman’s Philippine Air Lines flight so I literally camped out at the LAX to make sure that Read More …

Illustration by Dave San Pedro

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz Chief Justice Renato “Nato” Corona got a call from ex-prez Gloria Macapagal Arroyo after his tear-jerking testimony at the Senate impeachment court.  The conversation went this way: Gloria: Hello, Nato. Nato: Who’s this? Gloria: This is Gloria.  Remember me? Nato: Is that you, Ate Glo?  I didn’t recognize your voice. Gloria: Well, ever since they put this gadget around my Read More …

Manny-Pacquiao-praying.5

Balitang Kutsero By Perry Diaz After several months of trying to interview Manny “Pacman” Pacquaio, my perseverance finally paid off – he returned my call! Our conversation went as follows: Pacman: Hello, Perry. This is Manny. Perry: Oh, hello, Manny, what a pleasant surprise!  How are you? Pacman: I had better days.  I feel like I’m being crucified! Perry:  Well, it’s Holy Week… it’s time Read More …

Book Description Publication Date: January 10, 2012 Perry Diaz is the publisher of Global Balita, a daily online newsmagazine, and the author of this famous Balitang Kutsero, a collection of political anecdotes about the Philippines and Filipinos in general. He started Balita in 1987 as a community newsletter. Over the years, his commentaries and viewpoints have become increasingly popular with Pinoys in the United States, Read More …