Gloria’s New Year’s Resolution

Balitang Kutsero
By Perry Diaz

In an interview with ANC News, President Benigno “P-Noy” Aquino III said that he might pardon ex-prez Gloria Macapagal Arroyo if she showed remorse for the anomalies and scandals that had hounded her nine years in power.  Yep, P-Noy told Gloria, “No remorse, no pardon!”

After seeing P-Noy’s interview on her TV in her detention suite at the Veteran Memorial Medical Center, Gloria went to work and wrote her New Year’s Resolution.

My investigative reporter James Macaquecquec, through his connections with Gloria’s jailers, got a copy of Gloria’s 2012 New Year’s Resolution and sent it to Global Balita.

My New Year’s Resolution

First of all, I would like to thank President Aquino for offering to pardon me provided that I showed remorse for the anomalies and scandals during my presidency.  I am glad that P-Noy is keeping up with the tradition that I established when I pardoned former President Erap Estrada after he was convicted of plunder in 2007.  I did it then out of my Christian upbringing, “To err is human; to forgive is divine.” I have always felt that my ascension to the presidency was a divine providence; thus, it was just natural for me to forgive those who erred.

But what bothers me is that P-Noy offered to pardon me even before I was convicted of bogus charges of election sabotage in 2007!  How could I have sabotaged the elections in 2007 when I was not even a candidate?  P-Noy claimed that I cheated because all the 12 candidates on the administration slate won in Maguindanao.  Well, there’s only one explanation why all my candidates won – it’s because of divine providence!  There is no other reason.  I did not err.

However, in the spirit of Christmas, I have decided to demonstrate that I’m still a human being prone to making mistakes just like anybody else.  In the nine and a half years that I was President, I made a lot of grave mistakes, to wit:

1.  I regret ousting Erap from the presidency in 2001.  As his Vice President, I should have helped him succeed instead of plotting to remove him from office.

2.  I regret appointing Leila de Lima as Chairperson of the Commission on Human Rights.  Had I known that she would bite me like a pit bull, I would have sent her to Tawi-tawi instead.

3.  I regret appointing Jun Lozada as technical consultant on the national broadband project.  He turned out to be a whistleblower and exposed all the anomalies involving the NBN-ZTE project.  Now, he’s going to testify against me in court.

4.  I regret not declaring martial law when I had a chance.  If I did that I would still be in power and enjoying life in the Enchanted Kingdom.  Now, my life is confined to a hospital suite with no kitchen, no telephone, no computer, and I am not even allowed to use a mobile phone.

5.  I regret not cheating P-Noy of the presidency in 2010 by fixing the Smartmartic automated election system.  Mike promised me that if we did not cheat P-Noy, he would not prosecute us for graft and corruption.  Mike was wrong!

6.  I regret coming back from my trips to Spain and Switzerland.  If I did not return, I would have been free as a bird in Portugal where there is no extradition treaty with the Philippines.

With my friend Merci Gutierrez impeached and resigned as Ombudsman and my protector Chief Justice Renato Corona impeached and may soon be convicted in a Senate impeachment trial, I have come to terms with my fate.

With this silly gadget wrapped around my head and neck, I don’t have any options left except to put myself at the mercy of P-Noy.  Yes, Mr. President, I am sorry for all the anomalies and scandals during my presidency.  I was weak and indecisive and I allowed my husband Mike to the run the government the way he wanted it and did all those shenanigans.  I tried to stop him but he became too powerful to be stopped.  If there is one person who should go to jail, it’s Mike.

I hope that P-Noy would pardon me.  In good faith, I resolve to do the following:

A.  I will resign as Representative of Pampanga’s Second District.

B.  I will not get involved in politics for the rest of my life.

C.  I will ask Susan Roces for her forgiveness for cheating her husband Fernando Poe Jr. of the presidency in 2004.

And since P-Noy only asked me to show remorse, I will keep my commissions… my “tongpats.”  I earned them.

God is my witness,


14 Responses. Have your say.

  1. Marlene Howe says:

    Hahahahahaha….. this so funny but bears some truth to it. GMA must have been really thinking of all those things since she has plenty of time now to reflect on her past mistakes. She is definitely in a rue now! LOL!!!!!

  2. romy s. says:

    Put her to trial, for all the crime she is accused of..If proven guilty then punishment according to the law should be serve. If found Not guilty as charge then set her free..Let the truth stands above all..Nothing personal!!!Let’s get all the evidence and the facts on the table..If we have Jury system of justice in place all this should probably would not take place or been resolve already long time ago..What all filipinos are longing for is, for so long a real justice for every citizens regardless of their status in the society..Let this new year be the starting point..Honesty and transparency in governance..;Down with Graft and Corruptions!!!!. NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW !!!!!

  3. antonio says:

    Galing mo Macaquecquec, Gustong -gusto ko yang Profile Picture na Iyan. Sa susonod na Magkamit pa Muli ang Gloria P(andak ) ng Hostiyas na iyan hindi lang leeg niya ang may tali na tanekala. Tabingi na ang Mukha, lulugay-lugay pa ang Dila.

    Pagdumating ang panahon at oras na iyan, Tandaan Mo, Ako ang nagbigay sa iyo ng pasubali at iyan ay mangyayari. Bakit????

    Pag nagkamali yan ng pagbangon sa kama niya sa loob ng selda at na hulog sa sahig, pag bangon tatama ang leeg sa gilid ng katre…. ano ang mangyayari?

    Tiyak mangyari yang Babala Ko Sa Iyo……

  4. Taksil na Gloria. Why is she blaming Mike, she was the President with all the power. It appears now that she allowed Mike to do her job to run the Government. Either way, she is to blame.
    Congrats to your investigator, Macaquecquec, he did a superb job. I believe his findings in his investigation are all true. I concur with the other comments–let justice takes its course and punish those found guilty. We must restore the integrity of our justice system in PeaEye.To all HAVE A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR.

  5. Stan G. says:

    Hi Perry,

    It has been awhile that there was no “Balitang Kutsero”. With regards to pardon Ms. Gloria, let there be a trial first to prove innocence or guilt. If found guilty, let her and others serve their sentences in jail. After that when the appropriate time comes and after mostly serving their sentences in jail and after remorse, then, only then, a pardon can be applied. AGAIN, LET THERE BE A TRIAL FIRST TO PROVE INNOCENCE OR GUILT. Belated Merry Christmas and a bountiful and healthful New Year to you and your family. .

  6. Prudee says:

    Dear Mr. Perry,

    Una sa lahat bumabati ako ng isang Masaganang Bagong Taon.
    Alam mo unang beses ko lang na magcomment sa pitak mong ito.Hindi ko matiis na di mag comment tungkol dito sa mga sinabi ni Gloria. Wala akong masasabi kundi, dapat talagang pagbayaran nya lahat ang mga panlolokong ginawa nya sa mamayang Pilipino. Sobrang hirap na ng Bansa natin and yet, nagawa nya pa ang mga walang kapatawarang pagkakamali nya. Hindi na sya nahiya sa alaala ng kanyang yumaong ama na naging mabuting Presidente noon. Dito masusubukan kung pano na ang Justice system sa ating bansa. Manaig sana ang tunay na katarungan………

  7. Rex Q. Garcia ME / PE says:

    There should be no pardon at all to Gloria Arroyo. She and Mike Arroyo if found guilty must serve their jail time as prescribe by the court. This would set a good example to every corrupt government employee that there is no body above the law. This would also serve as a good deterrent by corrupt politician not to commit any violation against the Filipino people such as abuse of power, stealing government funds which is the main reason and goal why a Pinoy becomes a politician is to become rich overnight. I believe that the only to two people who became politician and later became as elected president that did not have a goal to become rich overnight and have a good reason and intention to become a president is Pres. Cory Aquino and Pres. Noynoy Benigno Aquiuno. Mr. Erap Estrada should not have been pardon at all but again Gloria was setting up an example to pardon a president when found guilty because at that time Gloria can foresee her future knowing she committed those crimes that she knows that someday she would be found guilty so the next president should also pardon her to follow her example of pardoning Erap. I would agree of a pardon after 15 to 20 years after maybe a good jail time behavior and a show of remorse of the crimes they have committed. For sure this would give a good lesson and an example to the next high ranking government official not to commit any of this crimes committed by Marcos, Erap and Gloria. This would set a good example also that being a corrupt government official is not an ideal job or place to become a rich and famous or notorious politician. Perry, I congratulate your man Mr.James Macaquecquec for doing an excellent investigative reporting. I believe he also deserves a journalistic award just like you. he … he..ha ha..

  8. perry says:

    Hi Rick,

    It was an inappropriate comment. I deleted it. I have to delete yours too because you quoted his comment verbatim.


  9. rac says:

    The above report shared by Mr. Perry is true and correct. Those are realistic reports the anomalies done by GMA during her terms so that she deserves to be jailed to pay the crimes she has done during her nine (9) years term. Pres. Pnoy is right of saying that GMA will ask forgiveness to the Filipino People in public; in TV and accepts the crime she has done.

    Thanks Mr. Perry



  10. Romeo Sirate says:

    So, if this little tyrant gets a conviction and showed some remorse about the bad things she’s done to the country, P-Noy is considering giving her a presidential pardon. Heck, she can also fake being remorseful just like the way she was faking her supposedly life threatening disease when she was trying to flee the country. What’s the use of taking her to court and spend millions of the people’s money just so they can give her a free pass later on if she’s convicted. I’m sure Abalos, Palparan, the Ligots and the Garcias are already planning on taking some acting lesson to make their act of being remorseful really convincing. What a bunch of crock.

  11. PHILIP says:

    Pious-looking Little Girl in the picture expected these upcoming convictions so she was setting what she perceived would be a precedent by pardoning Erap, hoping the same treatment will be accorded her after she is sentenced for her multifarious crimes against the people. But PNoy should know better because he will not be in the same situation. He should put her to rot in prison to serve as an example for future presidents that corruption no longer pays.

  12. PHILIP says:

    Pious-looking Little Girl in the picture expected these upcoming convictions so she was setting what she perceived would be a precedent by pardoning Erap, hoping the same treatment will be accorded her after she is sentenced for her multifarious crimes against the people. But PNoy should know better because he will not be in the same situation. He should put her to rot in prison to serve as an example for future presidents that corruption no longer pays. Remorse should not be enough for pardoning her.

  13. Fernando Habito says:

    GMA big amount of money that she and her cohorts robbed to the Filipino people must be returned by freezing all the assets and money they have deposited in many banks accounts
    overseas.To show that feeling of remorse is just plain hypocrisy.She is a natural liar and corrupt person that the pious looking photo is only her photo session opportunity to preserve her pride.

  14. Keep the wheels of Justice rolling, now or never.

    Non-bailable offenses cannot be bailed.
    Non-pardonable crimes against the people cannot be pardoned.

    Separate the function of the Church from the function of the State.

    It is up to God to pardon her.

    Let P-Noy wash his hands in the crucible of Justice,
    the crucible made by the people, of the people, and for the people.

    Leave GMA alone to face Ergon who will tell her where to go next. –

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