What Lola wants, Lola gets
Balitang Kutsero
by Perry Diaz
Illustration by Dave San Pedro
When Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s five-year-old granddaughter Marie Angelique — Mikey’s daughter — was asked by reporters what her Christmas wish was, she said, “I wish that my ‘lola’ (grandmother), I mean… I hope she’ll be President forever!” Makes one wonder if that was wishful thinking or self-fulfilling prophecy?
Now, that wouldn’t sit well with the eight presidential wannabes who are spending billions of pesos and thousands of hours only to see Lola Gloria keep the presidency for life!
My investigative reporter James Macaquecquec immediately called his “Deep Truth” informer in Malacanang and asked her the scoop on this. “Deep Truth” told James that there is a clamor among Gloria’s family members for her to remain President forever so they can all live happily in their “Enchanted Kingdom.” Then she said, “What Lola wants, Lola gets.” Masama na ito! (This is getting really bad!)
James called the top four presidential wannabes and asked their opinions. Here’s what they said:
Noynoy Aquino: “No way! I’ll will not allow that to happen! I’ll lead my Yellow Army to attack Malacanang and oust Gloria. It will be another people power revolution and — like my mom — I’ll be proclaimed President.”
Manny Villar: “I already spent billions buying votes. I won’t let that happen. With the leftists and communists on my left and the Marcos loyalists and oligarchs on my right, I’ll lead my Orange Army to attack Malacanang and oust Gloria. The presidency is mine!”
Erap Estrada: “I’ll tell all my wives and mistresses to rally the people to demand Gloria’s ‘constructive resignation.’ Gloria used that against me when she ousted me in 2001. It’s now my turn. It’s payback time!”
Gibo Teodoro: “Malaki and utang na loob kay Gloria (I owe Gloria a big debt of gratitude). I am loyal to her. Gloria forever! Gloria forever! Gloria forever!” Naloko na naman tayo! (We’ve been fooled again!)
***
Ninety-one out of the 99 persons who filed their certificates of candidacy for president were disqualified by Comelec as “nuisance” candidates. Here’s some of them:
Self-proclaimed “international lawyer” Ely Pamatong, who was disqualified when he first ran for president in 2004, claimed that “he is better than anyone who has run for office before, making him wonder why the poll body had previously proclaimed him a nuisance candidate.” Well, as someone once said, “once a nuisance, always a nuisance.”
But Pamatong said: “I may not be a billionaire pero may utak ako (but I have brains). I scored 92 percent in the American Bar exams, graduate ako sa UP, Silliman University, undefeated debater ako sa UP, tapos tinawag akong nuisance (and you call me a nuisance)?” Well, these are good enough reasons why Pamatong has been disqualified: he is overqualified for the job.
Nick Perlas, who was also disqualified from running for president, said that his support from the Green Party of France and 50 other countries prove his “national and global presence.” But his ratings in polls taken in the Philippines were virtually zero. Maybe Nick should move to France and run for President there.
Mark Jimenez, a former congressman representing Manila, was also disqualified from running for president. He told the Comelec: “The only reason why I’m not qualified is because you are all afraid of me, everybody knows that.” Yup, Mark is right. Having served time in a U.S. federal prison, Mark could really be intimidating to some people.
Noel Aguirre, who claimed to be an “inventor,” was also disqualified from running for president. He said that he is more qualified to run than Sen. Jamby Madrigal. Noel said that he and Jamby were in the same situation — they’re both running as independent. But the big difference is: Jamby is a multi-billionaire heiress with no talent while Noel is a multi-talented inventor with no money. It’s a no-brainer, Noel.
***
By the way, former president Erap Estrada celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary with his first wife, former Senator Luisa Ejercito in December. Erap said that he believes strongly in the “sanctity of marriage.” Yup, that’s why he “married” six other women so he can be “sanctified” seven times. Does that make him a sanctimonious polygamist?
Erap, who was ousted by Gloria, convicted of plunder, and then pardoned by Gloria, might not win the presidency this time, but Jinggoy, his first son by his first wife, is now the frontrunner in the senatorial race. Jinggoy seems like he’s following the footsteps of his father… all the way to the presidency. And then what? Well, I hope it would stop right there.
Meanwhile, Gibo Teodoro was busy campaigning to improve his poor poll ratings. At a marketplace in Lucena, Gibo asked the fish vendors, “Do you have ‘tampal’ fish?” The vendors laughed. His wife, Nikki, asked what kind of fish was that? Gibo replied, “I can’t tell you in public because it’s censored.” Then he whispered, “It’s called tampal-puki.” “Bastos!” I googled “tampal-puki” and it’s real. It’s a fish shaped like a human palm. “Tampal” is a Tagalog word that means “to slap with the hand.” Talagang bastos!
Happy New Year!
Gloria Arroyo’s grandchild will inherit her parents and grand parents bad traits. If the roots are rotten, it will only bear bitter fruits.
However, in one of our gospel songs in the church today: Blest are they who suffer from hate for the kingdom of God shall be theirs.
This is also Kutsero’s talk.
Your humorous description of the current presidentiables makes them sound corrupt, greedy and lecherous… all thoroughly uninspiring as candidates for the highest political office in your country. In relation to them, I wonder why you would dismiss Nicky Perlas’ candidacy so quickly, especially when he is recognized internationally as a profound social and spiritual leader. Have you read his platform?
As an American with a deep respect for Nicky, it seems a shame that he’s running in a country where members of the media can’t be bothered to actually investigate the candidates and offer substantive views on their character and vision. He is, in many respects, a far deeper thinker than Obama (who I also greatly respect) and many of us watching your elections globally – like the Green Party in France – would love to have him running in our own country. The thing is: no country is isolated anymore. We live in a global economy. We share one atmosphere, one planet that is quickly burning. We desperately need leaders at the global level who have a true and comprehensive vision of sustainability. Politicians are corrupt and pathetic the world over. Let’s stop joking about it and actually do something about it.
Hi Seth,
Thanks for your insightful comments. I agree with you that Nick Perlas has something to offer the Filipino people. However, the problem is that he’s not reaching out to the people. Most Filipinos are not Internet savvy and wouldn’t be able to read Nick’s website. That’s the reason why he’s not showing on the radar screen of polls taken. His rating is a virtual zero.
Nick should sun for Senator under one of the major political parties. Then he can use the Senate as his platform for his ideas and programs. Otherwise, he’d be a fogotten “hero.”
Perry
Hi Perry!
Personally, i think the only reason why Perlas is perceived to be not reaching out to the Filipino people is because he is not a well-known personality compared to the other candidates who have decades of opportunities to have their pictures plastered all over the Philippines.
Nick in the Senate will not bring about the change that his ideas and platform holds. A Senator has a legislative job. The problem of the Philippines is at the helm of the executive branch. Do you honestly think that to elect any other president than Nick Perlas would bring about real positive change in our country?
Please if you do believe that the only setback in the Perlas candidacy is his poor rating in the polls, i hope you find it in your capacity to help Perlas build that rating. A survey rating is not an indication of qualifications. Surveys are meant to do trending. And we can all help change that.
Thanks and i hope we do no betray our being true to a NEW YEAR.
Personally, i think the only reason why Perlas is perceived to be not reaching out to the Filipino people is because he is not a well-known personality compared to the other candidates who have decades of opportunities to have their pictures plastered all over the Philippines.
Nick in the Senate will not bring about the change that his ideas and platform holds. A Senator has a legislative job. The problem of the Philippines is at the helm of the executive branch. Do you honestly think that to elect any other president than Nick Perlas would bring about real positive change in our country?
Please if you do believe that the only setback in the Perlas candidacy is his poor rating in the polls, i hope you find it in your capacity to help Perlas build that rating. A survey rating is not an indication of qualifications. Surveys are meant to do trending. And we can all help change that.
Thanks and i hope we do no betray our being true to a NEW YEAR.
First,
Why does Nick Perlas have zero rating?
For me the question is: Why do we always let ourselves be influenced and swayed by perception? In terms of the Media, manipulating us into thinking ala-Wowowee, that what sells is what we should subscribe to. That the truth is what’s staring us in the television, boldly printed in the newspapers, and screaming from the radio shows. The truth is we have to decide on our own. We have to dig deeper. We have to empower ourselves into following what is right for us, not for them. Ratings, just like everything we have in this country is not to be trusted, they all succumb to what sells, what brings more money. Ratings are bought and sold. Only you can trust yourself. If you believe in something, go for it, don’t let anybody or anything stop you. Nick Perlas doesn’t rate because he doesn’t buy rates, in the same way that all his Media appearances have been freebies. By campaign period, you’ll probably see more of him but rest assured that’s through donations from people who believe in his cause, who put their stake in the New Politics and the New Philippines.
Second,
Why didn’t Nick run for senate?
Well because we have enough laws, and what our country needs is the will to implement those laws — a power the chief executive of the land has, but time and again, failed to do. The senate is not where we should put the best person who knows the solutions to our complex problems and can build partnerships to solve these problems, and most of all has the political will (which most of our politicians keep failing at) to overhaul our corrupt systems.
And lastly,
Nick is never going to be a forgotten “hero”, he was not trying to be a hero anyway –heroes are in all of us and if we peg another person to be the hero for us, we’re not going anywhere, yet again. We’ve seen so many of our heroes die for the country, and that’s all they are now, dead heroes –but the symbolic meaning of what they’ve done has left us with who we are today –Filipinos who are FREE, still we keep living as if our hands were tied. If all Filipinos were empowered, no one needs to be a hero for our people, for our country. We just have to wake up and realize that. That is what Nick really is about, not a hero, but someone who’s telling us that we are free to follow our highest ideals, and emerge a country that is truly MALAYA, MAKATARUNGAN, at MARANGAL –the New Philippines! It is possible, if we believe, and act on it, NOW.
Hi Nex,
History tells us that no president — except Cory and Ramos– had won the presidency wtihout first being elected to a national office (Senator or Vice President).
The same rule of thumb would apply to all the other candidates like Bro. Eddie Villanueva and JC delos Reyes.
Best,
Perry
Hi Juan,
The only reason why Perlas has poor rating is that he is an “unknown quantity” and doesn’t have national name recognition. If you don’t visit his website you wouldn’t get to know him. The problem is that a large majority of Filipinos are not computer-savvy; thus, they wouldn’t be able to get to know him.
Best,
Perry
Hi Perry,
It seems to me that there is no rule of thumb because you yourself pointed out that there have been two “exceptions”, both considered legitimate presidents of our country. To me, the new doesn’t emerge from history, it has to actually defy the chains of the past to create a different reality. New Politics is not about fitting into the mold.
Anyway, at the end of the day, ratings won’t do the Filipino any good – so why buy into it? The real question is not about who rates, or who has the more Media mileage (which is personality politics and traditional politics) –it’s still about who has the political will and the capacity to lead us into the New Philippines, to help us address the systemic problems we are facing, especially the urgent demands of Climate Change. Nick does not rate because he does not go the usual way of “planted surveys”, but rest assured that he is more “popular” now than he was in June. There are still a lot of ways to reach the people, and Nick will certainly do that because that is also the point of New Politics –authentic participation and dialogue.
Forward, Onward, Toward the New Philippines,
Nex
Hi Nex,
Like any rule, there’s always an exception to the rule. That’s the reality of life.
Let’s be realistic here. Nick doesn’t have a war chest to match Manny Villar or the following that Noynoy has. Nick doesn’t have a political organization, a “must” to win.
Nick is very smart and is probably more qualified than most of the presidential candidates. But he simply isn’t winnable. A vote for him could help another candidate win and that candidate might be the least desired person to be our president. So to prevent this from happening vote for the most qualified but winnable candidate.
Best,
Perry
Hi Perry,
I guess this is where we just agree to disagree. Winnability is not something I ever subscribe to, and though I myself am pragmatic and practical (which means I use what currently exists to understand the challenge), I continue to go by my idealism to create my reality, and not accept what is “realistic” because once you do that, how can you change “reality”?
Voting for the most qualified AND the winnable — to me is still the lesser choice, the compromise, the “realistic” option. This to me is what “nasayang na boto” means. Imagine, having the real choice to do what one is called to do and then just be swayed by the idea of winnability, by being influenced by others’ opinion and relinquishing my power of choice to others?? No way! What I do is find the most qualified and with other people make him/them winnable.
I voted once in college because I also believed in what the candidate was about, and the capacity of the candidate then, he won and he did great. I have never voted and was only moved to vote now because I believe in what Nick stands for (I am one with his vision because it is the vision and desire of all Filipinos, I believe), and his capacity (track record, humility, intelligence, integrity, honesty, and so much more impeccable qualities) to lead this country. I know he will win, and I will do what I can, in my power to help him and the other independents who are aligned with New Politics.
As long as we continue to move according to what we believe in, we will help emerge the New Philippines. We may disagree now, but in the end, I know that all Filipinos will choose what is right and help each other heal ourselves, our land, our culture, our nation and the rest of the world.
blessings of light and peace,
Nex
Ooops…and by the way Perry —
Nick is party president of a new, authentic political party, the Partido ng Marangal na Sambayanan (PANGMASA) with over 700 coordinators all over the country. We are currently building and strengthening it to be the genuine party for New Politics in 2010 and beyond.
And the “must” you are talking about, we all have that “must” in PANGMASA and actually as a Filipino, not just Nick. If New Politics is just about Nick, then what is the point? If the election is only about the candidates, not the electorate and not the people, again, what’s the point?
Anyway, just a matter of clarification. Thanks for the conversation and the chance to express the sentiments of the New Philippines, New Politics and Nick Perlas supporter and mover.
blessings of light and peace,
Nex
Hi Nex,
It’s a free country and you can vote for anyone of your choice. Honestly, if Dolphy ran for office, he’d win hands down. So, let’s leave it at that.
The botom line is: what has Nick Perlas done for the Philippines and Pinoys to earn the people’s vote?
Best,
Perry
Hi Nex,
Has any of the members of Nick’s party been elected to a political office before? There’s another new party called Democratic Party of the Philippines. They have thousands of coordinators and a full slate of senators and congressmen, yet their Presidential and VP candidates were rejected as nuisance candidates.
The name of the game is and has always been “winnability.”
Best,
Perry