December 2009

What Lola wants, Lola gets

By:
Published December 31, 2009, in Balitang Kutsero

Balitang Kutsero
by Perry Diaz

Illustration by Dave San Pedro

Illustration by Dave San Pedro

When Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s five-year-old granddaughter Marie Angelique — Mikey’s daughter — was asked by reporters what her Christmas wish was, she said, “I wish that my ‘lola’ (grandmother), I mean… I hope she’ll be President forever!” Makes one wonder if that was wishful thinking or self-fulfilling prophecy?

Now, that wouldn’t sit well with the eight presidential wannabes who are spending billions of pesos and thousands of hours only to see Lola Gloria keep the presidency for life!

My investigative reporter James Macaquecquec immediately called his “Deep Truth” informer in Malacanang and asked her the scoop on this. “Deep Truth” told James that there is a clamor among Gloria’s family members for her to remain President forever so they can all live happily in their “Enchanted Kingdom.” Then she said, “What Lola wants, Lola gets.” Masama na ito! (This is getting really bad!)

James called the top four presidential wannabes and asked their opinions. Here’s what they said:

Noynoy Aquino: “No way! I’ll will not allow that to happen! I’ll lead my Yellow Army to attack Malacanang and oust Gloria. It will be another people power revolution and — like my mom — I’ll be proclaimed President.”

Manny Villar: “I already spent billions buying votes. I won’t let that happen. With the leftists and communists on my left and the Marcos loyalists and oligarchs on my right, I’ll lead my Orange Army to attack Malacanang and oust Gloria. The presidency is mine!”

Erap Estrada: “I’ll tell all my wives and mistresses to rally the people to demand Gloria’s ‘constructive resignation.’ Gloria used that against me when she ousted me in 2001. It’s now my turn. It’s payback time!”

Gibo Teodoro: “Malaki and utang na loob kay Gloria (I owe Gloria a big debt of gratitude). I am loyal to her. Gloria forever! Gloria forever! Gloria forever!” Naloko na naman tayo! (We’ve been fooled again!)

                                                                                  ***

Ninety-one out of the 99 persons who filed their certificates of candidacy for president were disqualified by Comelec as “nuisance” candidates. Here’s some of them:

Self-proclaimed “international lawyer” Ely Pamatong, who was disqualified when he first ran for president in 2004, claimed that “he is better than anyone who has run for office before, making him wonder why the poll body had previously proclaimed him a nuisance candidate.” Well, as someone once said, “once a nuisance, always a nuisance.”

But Pamatong said: “I may not be a billionaire pero may utak ako (but I have brains). I scored 92 percent in the American Bar exams, graduate ako sa UP, Silliman University, undefeated debater ako sa UP, tapos tinawag akong nuisance (and you call me a nuisance)?” Well, these are good enough reasons why Pamatong has been disqualified: he is overqualified for the job.

Nick Perlas, who was also disqualified from running for president, said that his support from the Green Party of France and 50 other countries prove his “national and global presence.” But his ratings in polls taken in the Philippines were virtually zero. Maybe Nick should move to France and run for President there.

Mark Jimenez, a former congressman representing Manila, was also disqualified from running for president. He told the Comelec: “The only reason why I’m not qualified is because you are all afraid of me, everybody knows that.” Yup, Mark is right. Having served time in a U.S. federal prison, Mark could really be intimidating to some people.

Noel Aguirre, who claimed to be an “inventor,” was also disqualified from running for president. He said that he is more qualified to run than Sen. Jamby Madrigal. Noel said that he and Jamby were in the same situation — they’re both running as independent. But the big difference is: Jamby is a multi-billionaire heiress with no talent while Noel is a multi-talented inventor with no money. It’s a no-brainer, Noel.

                                                                               ***

By the way, former president Erap Estrada celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary with his first wife, former Senator Luisa Ejercito in December. Erap said that he believes strongly in the “sanctity of marriage.” Yup, that’s why he “married” six other women so he can be “sanctified” seven times. Does that make him a sanctimonious polygamist?

Erap, who was ousted by Gloria, convicted of plunder, and then pardoned by Gloria, might not win the presidency this time, but Jinggoy, his first son by his first wife, is now the frontrunner in the senatorial race. Jinggoy seems like he’s following the footsteps of his father… all the way to the presidency. And then what? Well, I hope it would stop right there.

Meanwhile, Gibo Teodoro was busy campaigning to improve his poor poll ratings. At a marketplace in Lucena, Gibo asked the fish vendors, “Do you have ‘tampal’ fish?” The vendors laughed. His wife, Nikki, asked what kind of fish was that? Gibo replied, “I can’t tell you in public because it’s censored.” Then he whispered, “It’s called tampal-puki.” “Bastos!” I googled “tampal-puki” and it’s real. It’s a fish shaped like a human palm. “Tampal” is a Tagalog word that means “to slap with the hand.” Talagang bastos!

Happy New Year!

(PerryDiaz@gmail.com)

 

Hilarious political jokes to usher a Happy NOY Year

By:
Published December 30, 2009, in Opinion

AS I WRECK THIS CHAIR
by William M. Esposo
from  The Philippine Star

Another year ends today and what a year it was. We Filipinos went through some exhilarating peaks and depressing deep valleys during this outgoing year.

To celebrate what we hope to be the incoming year of political and economic emancipation, let us feast today on some of the holiday season’s jokes posted by Loi Reyes Landicho, also known as The Professional Heckler, on his award winning website (http://professionalheckler. wordpress.com/).

When you stumble into the website of Loi Reyes Landicho, you’ll likely find yourself coming back for more and then share Loi’s jewels with your egroup. Friends and kin would harass your Chair Wrecker whenever we got too busy to log on and forward Loi’s latest postings.
Here are some of Loi’s recent jewels pertaining to the 2009 holiday season:

“FIRST, some bad news. Mayon Volcano has erupted. The explosion has endanger
ed the lives of Albay residents… prompting President Arroyo to declare martial law in the province.

It’s the holiday season. It’s Christmas! The signs are all over: people flocking to Divisoria; Communist rebels declaring a truce with the government, and Satur Ocampo shaking hands with Bongbong Marcos! 

A Yuletide trivia about the Defensor-Santiagos. Since 1992, Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago and her husband have refused to display Christmas trees in their house. Asked why, the couple replied, “Ganun katindi ang galit namin sa mga puno.”

Instead of designating someone to buy stuff for him, Sen. Manny Villar himself did the shopping this year. The most expensive item he bought was Loren Legarda.

Atty. Gilbert Teodoro had a difficult time shopping. So he just let Ronaldo Puno do the work for him.

Something bad happened to the Nativity Scene created by Sen. Panfilo Lacson. The three kings who were traveling at night were mistaken for robbers and were ‘neutralized.’ Lacson accused Erap of masterminding it.

The Liberal Party’s re-enactment of the Nativity Scene was one of the most controversial. Serge Osmeña backed out from playing Jesus when he learned that Ralph and Vilma would play Joseph and Mary.

In Pampanga, the re-enactment of the Nativity Scene at the capitol was ordered stopped by Governor Ed Panlilio. The priest-on-leave canceled the event when Mr. and Mrs. Bong and Lilia Pineda insisted on playing the role of the Infant Jesus’ “godparents.”

In fairness to Lakas-Kampi-CMD, they did try to re-enact the Nativity Scene. They just couldn’t really complete the cast.

The Senate is holding a lavish Christmas celebration. Everyone is expected to attend… except for Chiz Escudero. The guy hates parties.

Guess who’ll be the busiest senator this Christmas! Who else but Loren Legarda. She’ll be hopping from party to party.

The Senate plans to recreate the Nativity Scene. Noynoy Aquino has been tapped to play the role of the Virgin.

Sen. Manny Villar won’t play any part in the Nativity Scene but he volunteered to donate the house, the lot, and the manger.

For some reason, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile has rejected suggestions to let Senators Jamby Madrigal, Bong Revilla, and Lito Lapid to play the role of the three wise men.

Sen. Mar Roxas has repeatedly expressed interest to play the role of Joseph. But getting no support from his colleagues, he withdrew.

Eighty-two year old senator Joker Arroyo refused to take part in the activity. But that was understandable since Methuselah was never a part of the Nativity Scene.

Not to be outdone, Malacañang is also recreating its own Nativity Scene. Virgilio Garcillano, Hermogenes Esperon, and Ronaldo Puno will portray the three kings. However, they are not expected to bring incense, gold, or myrrh. Instead, they will deliver… votes.

When Andal Ampatuan Jr. heard Malacañang’s plan, he sent a note to President Arroyo and volunteered his talent. He wanted to play the role of Herod so he could slaughter innocents.
At the Lower House, congressmen couldn’t complete their own Nativity Scene. Nobody dared to play Jesus but everyone was qualified to play the role of an ass.

In Polk Street, chaos marred the recreation of the Estradas’ Nativity Scene. Erap played the role of Joseph but everyday, a different woman plays the role of Mary.

The Nativity Scene in Gilbert Teodoro’s house was reportedly one of the most intricate, beautiful, and well-crafted recreations. Unfortunately, only 2 percent of his friends have seen it.

You can find all kinds of Christmas decors at the residence of environmentalist Nicanor Perlas except for the Nativity Scene. According to the Comelec, he doesn’t have the capability and the resources to create one.

Bro. Eddie Villanueva’s own Nativity Scene tops them all. Surrounding the infant Jesus are 5 million sheep!

Finally, the Communist Party of the Philippines produced perhaps the oddest of all Nativity Scene re-creations. Their wise men are in Congress, the shepherds are in the Sierra Madre mountains, and their God is in the Netherlands!”

It is good for our mental health to laugh at jokes about our politicians. But we mustn’t lose track of what they really are. As Loi Reyes Landicho had always stated in his website, “The problem with political jokes is that they get elected.”

With hope rating very well and poised to assume the 2010 presidency, we can vigorously celebrate the entry of 2010. It promises to be a Happy NOY Year.

Chair Wrecker email and website: macesposo@ yahoo.com and www.chairwrecker.com

The year that was

By:
Published December 30, 2009, in Opinion

Theres The Rub
by Conrado de Quiros
from Philippine Daily Inquirer

DEATH and resurrection. That’s the story of the year that was.

The death was literal enough. The year saw the deaths of many musicians in particular. Most of them in the prime of their lives, felled by disease, notably cancer, a scourge that has spread as fast as its social counterpart. Must be the diet, the pollution, and the stress, the three horsemen of the urban apocalypse. Some of them were very good friends of mine, not least Susan Fernandez, whose passing an impoverished musical community continues to mourn, and Odette Alcantara, though she played quite another kind of music, the music of the trees and the stars.

On a personal note, the year saw the death of my mother, who fortified her claim to her name, Julieta, by dying on Valentine’s Day. She was close to 96, a ripe old age, and went completely quietly and peacefully after a life of stormy vitality.

It was a year that saw the deadly flowering of the culture of impunity, the culture of death and mayhem. It reached its culmination in the massacre of 57 people in Maguindanao, 30 of them journalists, who were waylaid on their way to the capitol to file the certificate of candidacy of Toto Mangudadatu. The Mangudadatus had invited the journalists to join the caravan to give it protection. Alas, who would protect the journalists? The Ampatuans descended on the caravan—or so witnesses swear—led by Andal Jr. who personally wreaked the mayhem in the most savage way imaginable.

It was the logical end of a culture that had seen the slaughter, if by installment, of hundreds of political activists and scores of journalists, that had seen the rise of cutthroats in uniform who could expect not only not to be prosecuted but to be rewarded for murder, that had seen the rise of warlords across the country who could expect protection whatever atrocity they did from someone they put in power by massacring her opponents at the polls.

It was the year that saw the death of Corazon Aquino.

At the time she did, everything else had pretty much died in the country. The national spirit had gotten comatose at least, if it hadn’t gone altogether, the public having gotten tired of opposing someone who was determined to stamp out all opposition. Justice had died, the public being treated daily to the spectacle of the decent being punished and the wicked being rewarded, chief of them Jun Lozada, who spoke out against theft of epic proportions and ended up being fingerprinted in a police precinct while his abductors, who made him disappear temporarily so that their pillage could disappear permanently, ended up “emborjered” for their pains. Democracy had died, the one person who had ruled the longest since Ferdinand Marcos without once having been elected having no plans of quitting, as she showed in a Sona that little disguised the fact.

It was the year Cory died; it was the year the nation resurrected.

Almost overnight, the nation’s anger came to life. Cory’s funeral ignited it, the dirge itself being the loudest protest heard in a long time. It was an act of defiance, defying as it did heaven and earth, the first sending unrelenting rain and the second unrelenting distraction, not least a Malacañang order giving schools and offices the day off. The schools and offices yielded their contents into the streets anyway, Filipinos from all walks of life turning out at the funeral procession despite, or because of, stormy weather.

It was bigger than any of the parades that accompanied Manny Pacquiao after his demolition of boxing greats. And deeper: The rumblings could be felt not only in the various corners of the land but in the vast spaces of the heart.

Almost overnight, the nation’s spirit came to life. Almost overnight, the public woke to find they were no longer willing to take abuse, they were no longer willing to slink away and mutter, “Life goes on.” They shouted, “Death may not go on, life must rekindle and burst into a raging fire!” Or so with their mind and heart, the first sign of it was the explosion that greeted the one person who had brought them to their miserable pass after word spread about her indulgence in Le Cirque. Even the cardinals and bishops and priests who had made it a habit, with or without their habits, to queue up in Malacañang, and who had led the muttering of “Life goes on” like an unholy prayer in the face of abuse, were swept by the reawakening and began railing at their former benefactor.

Almost overnight, the national mood turned from apathy to voluntarism. A thing that blazed to brilliance in the wake of the storms, specifically “Ondoy” and “Pepeng.” Without pay, without tribute, without recognition, everyone—the kids especially, the students from schools and the istambays from corner stores—rose as one to give relief. Christmas came early to this country, not just for those who got the relief goods but for those who gave them. Probably more the second than the first.

Almost overnight, the nation’s hope came to life. Cory didn’t just leave a legacy, she left a family to carry it out. The onus fell on Noynoy Aquino to bring it to fruition in the highest office of the land. The other political stalwarts were startled by his sudden blossoming, as indeed by his sudden rise to rarified heights, past even the ratings achieved by predecessors and even before he declared his intention to run. It was no surprise to a public that glimpsed it well before their leaders did. He was the embodiment of change. He was the opposite of GMA. He was the one person who would turn the culture of impunity into the culture of responsibility, the culture of oppression into the culture of fairness, the culture of death into the culture of life.

Death and resurrection: That was the year that was.

'I wish lola will be President forever!'

By:
Published December 30, 2009, in Politics & Government

I wonder why would the five-year old granddaughter of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo say that.   Was it wishful thinking or self-perpetuating prophecy?
– Perry Diaz


‘I wish lola will be President forever!’
by Lawrence de Guzman
from Philippine Daily Inquirer

MANILA, Philippines—To be president forever is the Christmas wish of one of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s granddaughters for her grandmother.

“I wish that my lola, I mean … I hope she’ll be President forever!” 5-year-old Marie Angelique said on Sunday in Baguio, the abs-cbnnews website reported on Monday.

Marie Angelique, daughter of Pampanga Rep. Juan Miguel “Mikey” Arroyo, gave the answer when asked by reporters about her Christmas wish for her grandparents …

Read the full story >> ‘I wish lola will be President forever!’

‘I wish lola will be President forever!’

By:
Published December 30, 2009, in Politics & Government

I wonder why would the five-year old granddaughter of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo say that.   Was it wishful thinking or self-perpetuating prophecy?
– Perry Diaz


‘I wish lola will be President forever!’
by Lawrence de Guzman
from Philippine Daily Inquirer

MANILA, Philippines—To be president forever is the Christmas wish of one of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s granddaughters for her grandmother.

“I wish that my lola, I mean … I hope she’ll be President forever!” 5-year-old Marie Angelique said on Sunday in Baguio, the abs-cbnnews website reported on Monday.

Marie Angelique, daughter of Pampanga Rep. Juan Miguel “Mikey” Arroyo, gave the answer when asked by reporters about her Christmas wish for her grandparents …

Read the full story >> ‘I wish lola will be President forever!’

Aldo, the alligator

By:
Published December 30, 2009, in Opinion

Dispatches from the Enchanted Kingdom
by Manuel Buencamino
from Business Mirror

My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth—that most of us go to hell and burn eternally—but I didn’t want to upset him.—Deep thoughts by Jack Handey

Last Thursday, while reading this newspaper, I came across a curious “how-to” advertisement from “Joy,” the toilet paper that stays “Strong even when wet.”

On the advertisement’s upper left corner, above the drawing of an alligator origami, are the words “Aldo The Alligator.” To the right and below Aldo are 16 diagrams that illustrate his evolution in reverse sequential order, from alligator to a single sheet of toilet paper.

I tried to make my own little Aldo by following the diagrams in their proper order, from sheet to alligator. It looked like an easy task. But that was before I discovered that toilet paper does not fold well and tears apart when creased. Sheet happens. But I persisted anyway.

I went through sheets of Joy before it finally dawned on me that maybe the trick is to wet the paper before folding and creasing it. (I remembered the ad claiming Joy was strong even when wet.) And so I tried it. And so I learned that wet Joy can be molded but it cannot be folded and creased into an alligator.

I gave up on the project. It was an exercise in futility. It left me so frustrated I ended up reflecting on the two most-asked existential questions of modern times: “Briefs or boxers?” and “Folded or wadded?”

“Briefs or boxers?” determined the outcome of the 1992 US presidential election. Candidate Bill Clinton said he wore briefs. He won the election.

(That historical tidbit could be useful to our 2010 presidential candidates. Except to Jamby, I hope.)

The existential question closer to the topic at hand—“Folded or wadded?”—has not figured in any presidential campaign so far. But it has been the subject of serious gender studies.

Research shows that the handling of toilet paper is determined by gender. Males fold, females wad. However, the research was done when the world still believed there were only two genders.

Today the world knows better. But it does not yet know what the other genders do with toilet paper. Do they fold it, wad it, or fwad it?

Anyway, that’s for researchers to find out. I am more concerned about the ethical and moral consequences of turning toilet paper into origami.

Would it be okay to use origami as toilet paper? Should we include origami in the “folded, wadded or fwadded” question? Is that the way to treat art? Most important of all, does the Church allow intimate contact with an origami?

But even if we assume that a toilet-paper origami is not a work of art, we are still faced with a moral conundrum.

The origami alligator has a name—Aldo. That makes it a pet. One would never eat his pet. It’s taboo. So, why would it be all right to use one’s pet as toilet paper?

Let’s move on. On to the famous homily of Fr. Roland Moraleja at a special Mass concelebrated by 22 priests on the day Gloria Arroyo filed her certificate of candidacy for representative of the Second District of Pampanga.

Father Roland told Madam Gloria, “Do not believe you are diminishing the power of the President. Ating metung a taung migbaba ba yang sumuyo—I Kristo [There was a person who came down to serve us—Jesus Christ].”

I wanted to say more or less the same thing—“Do not believe that Aldo is something more than just a piece of artfully folded industrial- strength toilet paper. Aldo is not Jesus Christ”—but I didn’t want to upset anybody.

Buencamino is a fellow of Action for Economic Reforms (www.aer.ph).

Yearender: Unpopular President does the unthinkable

By:
Published December 30, 2009, in Politics & Government

by Paolo Romero and Marvin Sy
from The Philippine Star

MANILA, Philippines – Damning critics and political opponents, President Arroyo did the unthinkable in the remaining months of her nine-year rule: declare martial law and run for congresswoman, reportedly with hopes of one day serving as prime minister.

Ending months of speculation on her political plans for 2010, Mrs. Arroyo on Nov. 30 announced in a government radio interview that she was running for a congressional seat in Pampanga because public service is “emblazoned” in her genes.

Her move, though the subject of much speculation and media reports, still surprised the public and triggered a torrent of criticism.

Her political opponents said her decision was proof of her lust for power…

Read the full story >> Unpopular President does the unthinkable

 

Ampatuans deny hand in massacre: We were not there

By:
Published December 30, 2009, in Politics & Government

This is a classic scenario in the Philippines where the alleged mastermind was somewhere else when the crime was committed. It is no wonder that the mastermind of a political crime is rarely convicted of the crime.

Former ARMM governor Zaldy Ampatuan’s alibi is his claim that he and Congressmen Yusop Jikiri and Munir Abison and other political leaders of Sulu “were in  Malacañang on Nov. 23 to discuss with Ms Arroyo how to resolve the electoral conflicts in the province.” 

I would really be surprised if the Ampatuans were convicted of the Maguindanao massacre. — Perry Diaz

Ampatuans deny hand in massacre: We were not there

by Norman Bordadora
from Philippine Daily Inquirer

MANILA, Philippines—The sons of Andal Ampatuan Sr. have sought the dismissal of the multiple murder charges against them, denying that they had a hand in the planning of the massacre of 57 people in Maguindanao, according to documents submitted to the Department of Justice (DOJ).

In their counteraffidavits, the Ampatuans claimed that the witness police investigators have in their custody made no specific allegation of their involvement in the worst political violence in the nation’s history.

“Plainly, the present complaint against me is utterly insufficient to indict me for a plot to murder innocent civilians,” said Gov. Zaldy Ampatuan of the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (ARMM)…

Read the full story >>  Ampatuans deny hand in massacre

Global Warning Myth

By:
Published December 30, 2009, in Opinion

by Erick San Juan
 
“Truth shall set us free!”,  but if this so-called “truth” by the climate change alarmists is being supported by lies and not based on real scientific studies, it will become gospel truth through repetition alone. This is where the corporate media comes in, constantly bombarding the public with lies, thus creating fear and panic. We can’t blame those who are truly misguided and not seeking for truth, just being contented with what the media feeds them everyday.
That is why we are trying our very best through print and broadcast media to propagate the other side of what the alarmists are saying as “truth.” 

 The recently concluded Climate Change Summit in Denmark, for some was a failure; it did not end with the goal of reaching a consensus for countries to pay for the so-called carbon credits by setting up an international body to do this job. US President Barack Obama proposed instead a multilateral body and countries will monitor their own carbon emission and submit to the United Nations. Rich countries will fund this body and developing nations can avail this “fund” to help curb carbon emissions.

This sounds good but the problem is that the same financial and lending institutions will handle this so-called fund – like the IMF and the World Bank. This is what I called poor countries taken on a roller coaster ride by the financial oligarchs a.k.a. globalists.

But what was the basis of all this “chubibo” or merry-go-round where all poor citizens of this planet are like a herd of cattle being taken to the slaughter house? At this point, I highly recommend the video of Mr. John Coleman, a scientist-prolific writer, entitled John Coleman Slams Global Warming that can be viewed on ‘you tube’ about how the climate change/global warming is being hyped and sensationalized by the corporate media to achieve a world government by the same elite group of globalists (and what others call reptilians). Mr. Coleman also exposed what IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) is all about – a group of mostly “political scientists” rather than real scientists and how they manipulated the data to justify that the world should be concern of the existence of a man made global warming.

Actually, if we will analyze the true data since the beginning of science way back some hundreds of years ago, there is nothing wrong with our climate for the climate is always changing. Climate fluctuations from cold to hot weathers are all normal. Our planet has survived these billions of years ago until this time. The hype that Al Gore produced in his video is actually based on lies and manufactured data. I agree with Mr. Coleman that everything will be fine from now until after twenty years and beyond that no warming will affect dramatically the earth’s population like the melting icebergs and ice caps.

 Sadly, the massaged data being propagated by the likes of Al Gore and so-called ‘environmentalists’ put so much emphasis on global warming which is for me is a total myth. Like blaming the hurricane Katrina for death of hundreds of people of New Orleans to global warming was really an offense to the intellect of us who understands the real situation. Like what Mr. Coleman cited, that the casualties of the hurricane Katrina must be blamed to the government for building poor or inferior dikes and pumps that were not properly built in a city below sea level that gave way during the pouring of massive rains brought by Katrina. It reminds me of the same predicament in some major cities in Metro Manila when Ondoy came with its massive rains that brought a lot of flooded areas because of human error particularly the politicians who were supposed to earn big bucks out of privatizing dams. Floods remained on the streets even after Ondoy left because of the clogged waterways and the poor management of the Laguna Lake by local officials. As I have said in my previous articles, most of the disasters are made by man driven by greed and selfishness.

Like the Copenhagen Summit, world leaders discussed how to combat global warming in the middle of a cold winter in that region where participants were freezing. How could there’ll be a global warming when China and South America just went through with the worst winter in fifty years like in the US . Alaska also experienced their worst cold spell in two decades. That is why some Russian and Canadian scientists are actually predicting a little ice age coming.

Amidst all these, we read in the papers that our local politicians and 2010 hopefools are riding the global warming bandwagon and actually suggesting that we avail the “fund” for the carbon credits fiasco. Have we not learned our lessons of the recent H1N1 lies and we have noticed that in this cold season of the year, big pharma riding the swine flu hype were very quiet.

Lest we forget that we are given intelligence by the Almighty to be vigilant and analytical, we will always be taken for a ride by the local and global oligarchs who are actually herding us towards a one world government.

Happy New Year to all…..

Gloria's End Game

By:
Published December 29, 2009, in Opinion, PerryScope

PerryScope
by Perry Diaz

Gloria Arroyo.4Like in a game of chess, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is now playing the end game of her nine years of tumultuous — and scandalous — presidency. Indeed, her adroit chessmanship in the art of Machiavellian politics has earned her the scornful enmity of the people. Her recent net satisfaction rating of -38 is the lowest since 1986 in the waning days of the Marcos dictatorship.

With six months left in her presidency, how is she going to play the end game? Is she going to end it with the hallmark of magnanimous statesmanship or is she going to clear the board and move in for the kill?

Run for Congress

When Gloria filed her certificate of candidacy last November 30 for Pampanga’s Second Congressional District, many people were bewildered why she would want to remain in the political arena after serving almost a decade in the highest post of the land? After filing, she said: “I have been mulling of different ways to stay involved. Tiningnan ko ang pagbalik sa pagturo (I looked at possibly going back to teaching)… After much contemplation, I realized I am not ready to step down completely from public service. Gaya ng alam ninyo, hiniling rin ako ng mga mamayan ng aking tahanang distrito sa Pampanga na manatili sa buhay publiko (As you all know, the constituents of my home district in Pampanga asked me to remain in public life). After much soul-searching, I have decided to respond affirmatively to their call. To that end, I will file my candidacy for Congress in order to serve the hardworking people of my home province.” Poignant, indeed.

However, the question is: Did the people of Pampanga really clamor for her to run for Congress? Or were they primed by “power of suggestion” manifested in Gloria’s 50 campaign-like visits to her home district in the past 11 months? I tend to believe that Gloria orchestrated her province mates’ outpouring of support for her to run for Congress.

What’s strange though is that her son, Mikey, is currently serving as congressman of her home district and is still eligible to run for one more term before being termed out of office. But why did a promising young politician give way to his mother? Mikey could have told Gloria, “Mom, instead of serving the constituents of the second district, you can best serve the entire nation and all the people in a statesmanlike fashion like what your predecessors, Fidel V. Ramos and the late Cory Aquino, have done. You could have become the ‘grand lady’ of the Philippines.”

But Mikey didn’t have the heart — or courage — to tell his mother that. Gloria was hell-bent on running for Congress even at the expense of her own son; thus, denying her son the opportunity to remain in the House of Representatives, a stepping stone to higher office. She was determined to cling to power… at all cost. And to what end?

The end justifies the means

There are several theories why Gloria is running for Congress. The most popular theory is that she wants to amend the constitution to change the government to a parliamentary system. Recently, she admitted to that. It is presumed that once elected, she would vie for the Speakership of the House of Representatives, which would seem to be a piece of cake since her party, Lakas-Kampi-CMD, would likely be in control of the House next year.

But that is only one factor in the equation. For the whole equation to work, the newly elected president next year, whoever that might be, must be in sync with Gloria’s plan to amend the constitution. It is not surprising then that Gilberto Teodoro, her party’s presidential candidate, is openly in favor of Charter change. If Teodoro wins the presidency, then Gloria’s plan will be in play. And if everything works out as planned, she would become the country’s Prime Minister — with an indeterminate term of office.

What if?

But what if Teodoro lost the election? That would totally wreck Gloria’s plan. As a consequence, her House allies would desert her — nobody wants to associate with a loser — and start kowtowing to the new president who holds the key to the disbursement of their pork barrel allocations. Ironically, it’s the control of the pork barrel that gave Gloria the “power of patronage” which she cunningly used to keep the congressmen in line and acquiesce to her demands.

This is a scenario that would certainly scare Gloria to wit’s end. And with Teodoro’s approval ratings hovering in single digit, Gloria needs a contingency plan that she could invoke at any time should the prospect of Teodoro losing the election becomes crystal clear. And the key component of that contingency plan is the military whose top brass is seemingly loyal to her.

Militarization of the election

In the aftermath of the Maguindanao massacre, Defense Secretary Norberto Gonzales is in the process of arranging with the Commission on Elections (Comelec) a plan to deputize the military and put it’s personnel at the “full disposal” of Comelec. The overt objective of the plan was to “curb private armies and prevent a repeat of the Maguindanao massacre.” But what would prevent elements of the military from covertly doing — or supplementing — the work of the private armies of warlords allied with Gloria? Weren’t elements of the military used in the massive election cheating in Mindanao in 2004 and 2007?

Automated election system to go haywire

With the Smartmatic-TIM automated election system way behind schedule in delivery, testing, and training of the tens of thousands of election personnel, the likelihood of an “election failure” is not remote. And if that happened, Comelec could then recommend to Gloria to declare the election of national officers as “inconclusive” and therefore null and void. In that event, no president, vice president, and senators would be proclaimed to take office. Then what?

End game

Gloria would then put in place a “Transition Council” — a disguised civilian-military junta — with Gloria as its head. It was the brainchild of Defense Secretary Gonzales during his stint as Gloria’s National Security Adviser. Coincidence?

In politics nothing happens by coincidence.

(PerryDiaz@gmail.com)

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